shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
