i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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