I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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