my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
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Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize