my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize