nut hugger
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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