I think I am morally bankrupt
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
