how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
