dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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