I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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