Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Where is the hickey?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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