Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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