I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize