I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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