Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
