I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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