is your mom at the bar?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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