she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
