He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I want to make a zoo with you.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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