Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
