thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize