i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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