I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
