Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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