the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
