I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
