Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
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There r osticjed everywhere
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
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I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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