Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
not ubering you a puppy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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