they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
