So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
