I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
