I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
the raccoons are back...
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