Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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