Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
