First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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