If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I want a musical about memes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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