Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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