apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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