some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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