She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
this will be a night to untag.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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