Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
