hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
