Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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