I got chris browned last night
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
