I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i think my cat just said my name.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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