My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
