doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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