I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
