I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
