dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
