you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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