I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
