I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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