apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
