Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
