We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
