I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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