don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
