Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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