There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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