yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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