You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
