I must be too annoying 4 u.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
