Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
