Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Randomize
